Does Love need a reason?

Once a lady when having a conversation with her lover, asked:

Lady : Why do you like me..? Why do you love me?

Man : I can t tell the reason.. but I really like you..

Lady : You can t even tell me the reason... how can you say you like me? How can you say you love me?

Man : I really don t know the reason, but I can prove that I love U.

Lady : Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason. My friend s boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!

Man : Ok..ok!!! Erm... because you are beautiful,

because your voice is sweet,

because you are caring,

because you are loving,

because you are thoughtful,

because of your smile,

because of your every movements.

The lady felt very satisfied with the man s answer.

Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met with an accident and went in comma.

The Guy then placed a letter by her side,

here is the content:

Darling,Because of your sweet voice that I love you...Now can you talk? No! Therefore I cannot love you.

Because of your care and concern that I like you..Now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love you.

Because of your smile,because of your every movements that I love you..

Now can you smile? Now can you move?No, therefore I cannot love you...

If love needs a reason, like now,There is no reason for me to love you anymore.

Does love need a reason?

NO!Therefore,

I still LOVE YOU...

The girl I met in train

It was not a normal day where I used to wake up late at 9 o’clock and get ready for my shift that starts at 2pm. That friday I had to start early and leave early from my office, because I have to start to kerala that evening to attend my friend’s marriage. If you think that I am going to tell something about the trip to kerala… then you are absolutely wrong, this is about the train travel to office in that friday morning.

Went to beach station to catch my 8.30 train to pranur, just ringed my friend who usually comes at that time…

“Hey ashik… where are you da..?”

“…..”

“come soon.. train is in 3rd platform… will start in few minutes..”

“ …..”

“ok bye..”

After a few minutes, he appeared with a Friday casuals… we were walking fast to the 3rd compartment in which we usually travel… but that day unfortunately we didn’t get the window seat. I usually bring a newspaper to read, so that I can pass the time in that one and a half hours long journey. But I didn’t know at that time that this newspaper will give me such a beautiful experience.

The train passed “Fort” station, then came “Park”, where usually all the crowd comes in and occupies almost all the seats of the train. I don’t know if it is my fortune or it just happened normally, a girl came and occupied the seat that was exactly opposite to me…

She was wearing a pink sleeveless top and a blue jean, she was bubbly and was so cute, I cant resist myself looking at her, I wont say that everyone will love her, but I can dare say that everyone will like her for her cute smile. Only sad thing is.. her Father was with her…

Me and my friend were looking at her. And enjoying each and every cute reactions that she gave while talking to her dad. But still, we were pretending to read the newspaper. But suddenly I can see her reading the news from my newspaper, and she was discussing about the same with her father, and she was wrong about almost every news, Her father was correcting and explaining her.

“thilak… this is ur chance… don’t miss it…” Something told me from inside…

Next time she read a news and told the same to her father, as usual she was wrong, this time I interrupted and talked to her, corrected and explained about the news that she wrongly understood.

I didn’t know why my friend was giving strange looks at me… anyway I didn’t wanted to stop talking with her… Felt that he too wanted to talk with her… he tried his best, but she was more interested to talk only to me…

“Where are you going?” she asked me…

“To my office” I replied…

Then she was asking about me and my workplace.. Wow… I was telling everything about me to her… then I asked her name, she suddenly looked her dad’s face… man… c’mon why do these girls behave such a way…? Is she afraid to tell her name in front of her dad or is she not willing to answer me…? I was asking myself,

meanwhile her dad just nodded, and then she turned towards me and said “JANANI... “

“Sweet name…” I replied…

‘Why did I say so…? Is that name really sweet…?’ I asked myself and I was thinking whether to tell my name or should I wait till she asks it.. finally decided to wait, but that’s sad, she didn’t wanted to know my nameL. But she didn’t stop talking to me, she was very jovial and she was telling about her studies and all the subjects that she has…

When the train reached “Tambaram”, the man who was sitting near me stood up.

“shall I sit in that place…” she asked me…

I was perplexed for a moment, and I didn’t answer anything…

“I like window seat… please…” she asked again…

Do you think that I refused this offer…??

‘Nothing happens without a reason’ I said to myself, I really was fortunate not to get window seat today…

“then…?” I asked..

“then what…?” she replied..

“Where do you stay…?”

“E16, Pioneer colony, Anna nagar…” she replied immediately…

I didn’t expect that she will tell her full address and her dad was giving mixed reactions… I didn’t know how to react… I didn’t ask any further questions…

There was complete silence for sometime…

“How long will it take for you to reach ur station..?” she broke the silence with this question..

“another 15 mins or so…” I replied…

“Where are you going…?” I queried this time..

“To my uncle’s home.. took leave today..” she replied..

Suddenly my phone shouted with its ringtone, it was my friend, just a casual talk and I hung up…

“What phone is this…?” she asked..

“E71..”

“What is your phone number…?”

Man… this cute doll is asking my phone number… am I dreaming…?

My friend was also surprised… “machi… kekraa la… kudu da…” he told me…

“You wont give ur phone number to me…?” she asked again…

“y.. ya ya… w.. with pleasure… note it down…” I said with some breaking words

she pulled a paper and a pen from his father’s pocket… and noted down my number digit by digit…

should I ask her number…? But I think she doesn’t own a mobile…

“I don’t have a mobile, can you take my father’s number…?”

“yeah sure…” I said and noted the number…

but I don’t think I will call her father and ask him to give it to her daughter who doesn’t even know my name…

and my train was upto reach paranur…

“I am gonna reach… You wanna visit my office…?” I asked…

“No I will only be with my dad…” she said…

“Ok don’t forget me… call me…”

“ya sure… will call you from my dad’s mobile…”

I waved my hands at her… “bubye…”

she waved back… “bye…”

I got down… and still she was waving her hand from the window…

I could not forget her face… JANANI… I don’t know if her name is sweet or not, but she really is a very sweet and cute girl… I could not forget her reactions… especially when she was telling about her class teacher and the rhymes that she told in english and tamil… After all… Whatelse can we expect from a 4 year old girl who is studying LKG…

For those who think they know everything

A congressman was seated next to a little girl on the airplane leaving from Atlanta when he turned to her and said,'Let's talk'.

I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the total stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the congressman.

'How about global warming or universal health care', and he smiles smugly.

'OK,' she said. 'Those could be interesting topics.

But let me ask you a question first.

A Horse, a Cow, and a Deer all eat the same stuff - grass.

Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cowturns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass.

'Why do you suppose that is?'

The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'

To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming or universal health care when you don't know shit!’

Love never fades, It only changes it's shades

11th December 2010

The sun was playing hide and seek. The wind was chilly cold, it was 8 in the morning. She was sleeping by my side in the bed. I had switched on the light and she tried to cover her face with the blanket, but she can't. As she hates to cover her face while sleeping. I switched off the light and her face seems to relax and a sweet smile appears on her face in that deep sleep, saying thank you to me. I slowly took out my SLR and tried to capture her smile :)

It looked the same as it was 5 years back.

11th December 2005

I still remember the day, it was 11th of December 2005. It was a Sunday.

We were on our first outing after "our union as one in this world"(bole to honeymoon tha :D:D:D). We were in the valley of KASHMIR. Looking out of the glassed window. The whole earth was clad with white innocent snow. The snow resembled the smile of a small kid with a innocent smile, touching my soul and making me feel like going out and dance in it. Kashmir is so good and so peaceful in December(now don't remind me of terror seeking groups, I am just speaking of the valley). My room had a room heater, I could do anything but just to sulk in the

warm cozy blanket was so good. The room was filled with the essence of Hot elachi chai. I don't drink tea but that's her favorite, her morning starts with a hot elachi chai. She was lying next to me in the warm cozy bed, trying to pull the blanket up and cover her face as I have switched on the light in the room. This was the first time I noticed that she doesn't like to cover her face while sleeping. Time passed on and I knew her more and more. That elachi chai of hers is her favorite which she calls pyala and my favorite was my morning kiss which she calls pyar ka pyala. Now I knew she hates to cover her face while sleeping and I loved that part of her sleep. Her face is never covered with the blanket which gives me the pleasure of looking at her anytime. I have seen the world in her face, I have seen her smile in her dreams and loved her even more by every day. Sometimes I see wrinkles on her forehead, I know she is tensed in her dreams and I would just shake her a bit to shatter such a dream which disturbs her peaceful night. My lappys desktops are filled with her pics with a sweet innocent smile which she portra ys while she is dreaming a sweet dream, thanks to my SLR :) I know her very well, she likes magenta color and would fight with me when I would say its pink. She likes elachi tea early morning, her pyala. She loves wearing pink but often picks up a blue dress as I love her in blue. She always chooses my happiness before hers. She cries like a kid while seeing some romantic movie. She holds a special aroma of herself which mesmerizes me every day. She gets confused with numbers while calculating for anything and would need my help, for which I always get a kiss. I still remember our first fight, she went out and bought herself a calculator so that she won't have any problem with calculation and won't have to kiss me for her calculation problems. While on the weekend drive she will tell me every minute "its reverse ABC, Accelerator Brake Clutch", as she would get confused which foot to place where and my heart would take a extra beat knowing that she is confused with the pedals, risking both our lives, but she won't let me drive on the weekends. She is scared to death when it comes to needles and injection and would run away or fight with the doctor if I am not around to hold her and cool her down. She loves puppies but hates when they pee inside the house. And as I am well mannered and I only use the bathrooms I am her puppy. She would play with me on a Sunday morning when I would be dying to catch some more sleep(sahi kah hai jisne bhi kaha hai, shadii ke baad ladka kutta ho jata hai ;), but I LOVE to be her puppy). I love the way she cuddles me like a mom cuddles a small baby. She sometimes forgets the recipe of what she is cooking and would scratch her head with the salt box in her hand standing in front of the gas stove. She loves animation movies. She has big eyes, which become even more beautiful when she applies kajal. She is full of life, yupieeeeeeeeeeee, I am too lucky to have her as my life :):):) Two years later we were expecting a angel in our life. It was 11th December 2007. She was in admitted in the hospital and the doctor said that in few minutes the angel would be life :) I was sitting outside the OT and thinking of names, I had thought of Midhu for my daughter and she had thought of Karan for her son. Lets see who will be born.

11th December 2007

Doctor came out rushing to me and said "the situation has gone critical and we can save only one of them, for the other it will be a risk. Whom you want the baby or the mother" I couldn't say a word I was in a shock and someone from either o four families or friends, I don't know who, said "save the baby" The doctor started to move back to the OT when I shouted at the top of my voice "NO" and everyone there rouse to their feet, people whispering stopped their whispers, the doctor stood still And everyone anticipated what I was gonna say next and I said it, "Save her, save my ARYA, I want her, you can take a chance with the baby, but save my wife, my ARYA" Doctor smiled back into the room and all my dreams were shattered in a second. I knew my ARYA will help me get over this if anything happens to the baby, but she has loved the baby more than me, who will support her. And I knew that moment, I just can break at that moment, I have to stand by my ARYA when she needs me the most. Time stood still like a summer noon without any wind making me feel uncomfortable to even breathe. All I had was hope to support me nothing else seemed real, my world has blasted into small fragments of pain, sorrow and fear which was trying to suffocate me from all directions. It was then I heard my angel cry, a cry which cleared all the grey clouds around me and joy filled in every where around me. I cannot be more happy in my life than that moment, when doctor saved my Arya and also succeeded to save my angel. The doctor came out after some time and handed us the baby, she was an angel. Hurray my wish was fulfilled, she was a daughter my MIdhu was born that day and not her Karan. Everyone in the family started to compare her features with some r the other one, but I was sure of those eyes. Those big eyes, those lovely eyes were of my Arya. Every one held a smile as big as their heart, then the doctor permitted me to go in and speak to my Arya. My mom held my MIdhu in her hands, while I walked into the OT. I was on cloud 9, we were gonna share the biggest happiness of our life ever since we met. But I could sense lot of blood in the OT, she has lost lot of blood in the operation, all my happiness seemed to fade. She was there on the bed, she had so many pipes and needles running in through her body, she hates and fears injection but she bared all this for our Angel. She held a smile that could strengthen me enough to fight the whole world with my last breath, but then I can see the pain that hid behind her smile. She kept that smile while I was no more able to with stand the site of hers in that way, i moved close and sat beside her. I could not speak a word but yet we spoke a million words. I could feel her pain, my body shivered for a moment and a tear rolled down my cheeck on to her hand. Her smile changed a bit and i read her eyes, she asked me to lean forward, she took all her strength and rose a bit a kissed on my forehead. For that one second I cursed her, cursed her like hell, why the hell does she care for me so much. Why the hell does she care for my happiness so much. I read her heart very well and I knew it that very moment and couldn't control myself. She has taken the decision. Even before the doctor came to me I knew that she has asked the doctor to save the child risking her own life. She didn't even think for once what will happen to me if anything happens to her. A million thoughts ran through my mind, was she safe or not and when i turned to the doctor all she said was "I am sorry, it was her decision". I will never forgive that doctor, i ll never forgive you my love life my world my ARYA. In that last moment my Arya spoke to me "Happy na u have ur midhu now, and dont worry Vijay i ll always be there with you, I ll be your midhu if not your Arya anymore. You remember Vijay when we eloped and I told you that my dad would cry a ot and you used to make fun of me.Don't worry, ur Midhu wont elope with any guy, because I know you will be her friend first a father later. promise ME THAT YOU WILL TAKE HER TO THE ICECREAM PARLOR THAT WE VISIT LATE NIGHT promise ME THAT YOU WILL TEACH HER HOW TO DRIVE THE WAY YOU DID TO ME promise ME........... she took a lot of promise and left me for this life I still don't know why I am alive I still don't know how I ll take care of my Midhu who is also my Arya now :)

Three years later 11th December 2010

I am at Kashmir, fulfilling one of her promises and living one of my best moments of life. Loving to know the fact that she is just not my sweet little angel Midhu, she is my Arya too. As she too hates to cover her face while asleep. Letting me get lost in her innocence and overloading my SLR with her one in a million, million pics. When Life takes a complete U turn. When life goes upside down. When u are all alone in the middle of nowhere. Its then U find that, there is someone whom you love more than anyone else you ever loved in this world.

Love never fades, it only changes its shades. . .

Second Chance

It's another morning......... Again I have to go to the office.

Ohh!! this is me... I shouted, having a glance at my ‘photo’ in today's news paper.

But what the HELL it is doing in the death column??

Strange...

One second.......Let me think, last night when I was going to bed I had a severe pain in my chest, but I don't remember anything after that, I think I had a sound sleep.

It's morning now, ohh....... It's already 10:00 AM, where is my coffee? I will be late for office and my boss will get a chance to irritate me..

Where is everyone...??? I screamed.

"I think there is a crowd outside my room, let me check." I said to myself.

So many people..... Not all of them crying......

But why some of them are crying....

WHAT IS THIS??? I’m lying there on the floor...

"I AM HERE" ....... I shouted!!! No one is listening.

"LOOK I AM NOT DEAD" .... I screamed once again!! No one is interested in me. They all were looking at me on the bed. I went back to my bed room.

"Am I dead??" I asked myself...

Where is my wife, my children, my Mom, my Dad, my friends? I found them in the next room, all of them were crying...still trying to console each other. My wife was crying... she was really looking sad. My little kid was not sure what happened, but he was crying just because his Mom was sad..

How can I go without saying to my kid that I really love him, I really do care for him. ??

How can I go without saying to my wife that she is really the most beautiful and most caring wife in this world..?? How can I go without saying to my parents that I’m what I am ... just because of you?? How can I go without telling my friends that without them perhaps I would have done most of the wrong things in my life... thanks for being there always when I need them...and sorry for not being there when they really need me..

I can see a person standing in the corner and trying to hide his tears....Oh.... he was once my best friend, but a small misunderstanding made us part, and we both have a strong enough ego to keep us disconnected.

I went there..... And offered him my hand, "Dear friend.... I just want to say sorry for everything, we are still best friends, please forgive me."

No response from other side, what the hell?? He is still preserving his ego, I am saying sorry... even then!!!

I really don't care for such people.

But one second...... It seems he is not able to see me!!!! He did not see my extended hand.

My goodness...... AM I REALLY DEAD???

I just sat down near ME; I was also feeling like crying...

"OH ALMIGHTY!!!! PLEASE JUST GIVE ME FEW MORE DAYS..."

I just wasn't to make my wife, my parents; my friends realize that how much I love them.....

My wife entered the room, she looks beautiful.

"YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL" I shouted.

She didn't hear my words, in fact she never heard these words because I never said this to her.

"GOD!!!!" I screamed... a little more timeplzzzzz I cried...

One more chance please... to hug my child, to make my mom smile just once, to feel my dad proud of me at least for a moment, to say sorry to my friends for everything I have not given to them, and thanks for still being in my life....

Then I looked up and cried!!

I shouted.......

"GOD!!!! ONE MORE CHANCE PLEASE!!!!"

"You shouted in your sleep," said my wife as she gently woke me up. "Did you have a nightmare?"

I was sleeping....

Ohh that was just a dream....

My wife was there... she can hear me... This is the happiest moment of my life...

I hugged her and whispered....

"YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND CARING WIFE IN THIS UNIVERSE..... I REALLY LOVE YOU, DEAR"

I can't understand the reason of the smile on her face with some tears in her eyes, still I’m

happy....

"THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS SECOND CHANCE."

SO, now it's not late... Forget the egos, the Past... and express love to others.......

Be friendly...

Keep smiling...... forever....It is another chance For you...

Give your 100% in a relationship

A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her. The boy told the girl, he will give her all his marbles in exchange of her sweets. The girl agreed.

The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all his sweets as she had promised. That night, the girl slept peacefully but the boy couldn’t sleep. He kept on wondering if the girl has hidden some sweets from him as he had hidden his best marble.

Moral of the Story: If you don’t give hundred percent in a relationship you will keep doubting if the other person has given his/her hundred percent. Give your hundred percent to everything you do and sleep peacefully.

Lateral Thinking

Many years ago in a small Indian village, A farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender. The Moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful Daughter. So he proposed a bargain.

He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal. So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black Pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.

1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.

2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven. 3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail. They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As They talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he Picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two Black pebbles and put them into the bag.

He then asked the girl to pick A pebble from the bag.

Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have Done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you Have told her?

Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:

1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble. 2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag And expose the money-lender as a cheat.

3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order To save her father from his debt and imprisonment. Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with The hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral And logical thinking.

The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with Traditional logical thinking.

The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without Looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path Where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.

"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the Bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I Picked."

Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had Picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his Dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into An extremely advantageous one.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't Attempt to think.

A DATE WITH A WOMAN!!!

After 21 years of Marriage, my Wife wanted me to take another Woman

out to Dinner and a Movie.

She said I Love You but I know this other Woman loves you and would Love

to spend some Time with You.

The other Woman that my Wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a Widow for 19 years, but the demands of my Work and my three Children had made it possible

to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to Invite her to go out for Dinner and a Movie.

'What's wrong, are you well,' she asked?

My Mother is the type of Woman who suspects that a Late Night Call or a Surprise Invitation is a sign of Bad News.

'I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you,'

I responded.

'Just the two of us.'

She thought about it for a moment, and then said,

'I would like that very much.'

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit Nervous.

When I arrived at her House, I noticed that she too seemed to be Nervous

about our Date.

She waited in the Door with her Coat on.

She had Curled her Hair and was wearing the Dress that she had worn to

Celebrate her last Wedding Anniversary.

She smiled from a face that was as Radiant as an Angel's.

'I told my Friends that I was going to go out with My Son, and they were impressed, '

She said, as she got into the Car.

'They can't wait to hear about our meeting'.

We went to a Restaurant that, although not Elegant, was very Nice and Cozy.

My Mother took my Arm as if She were the First Lady.

After we sat down, I had to read the Menu. Large Print.

Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting

there staring at me.

A Nostalgic Smile was on her Lips.

'It was I who used to have to Read the Menu when you were Small,'

She said.

'Then it's Time that you Relax and let me Return the Favor,'

I responded.

During the Dinner, we had an Agreeable Conversation, nothing

Extra-ordinary, but catching up on recent Events of each others Life.

We talked so much that we missed the Movie.

As we arrived at her House later,

She said, 'I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.'

I agreed.

'How was your Dinner Date?' asked My Wife when I got Home.

'Very Nice. Much more so than I could have Imagined,' I answered.

A few days later, my Mother died of a Massive Heart Attack.

It happened so suddenly that I didn't have Time to do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an Envelope with a Copy of a Restaurant Receipt from the same place Mother and I had dined.

An Attached Note Said:

'I paid this Bill in Advance.

I wasn't sure that I could be there;

But nevertheless, I paid for Two Plates –

One for You and the Other for Your Wife.

You will never know what that Night meant for Me.

I Love You,

My Son.'

At that moment, I understood the Importance of saying in Time:

'I LOVE YOU!'

and to give our Loved Ones the Time that they Deserve.

Nothing in Life is more important than God and your Family.

Give them the Time they Deserve, because these Things cannot be

Put Off till 'Some Other Time.'

Brain vs GirlFriend

No prices for guessing who won at last. Nice one..........*

Akash was waiting for his love ....

"30 minutes late!!", his brain shouted at him, "Last time you were 5 mins late and she had literally gobbled u up ... remember??"

"Yeah yeah", he said to his brain, "You know her ... all moody and stuff .... oh there she is"

"Scold her OK?", his brain advised.

"OK I will try"

Sweet Sheetal comes with the cutest smile and says "I’m sorry honey .. I was shopping for shoes .. totally forgot about you"

"What if you had said that line buddy?", shouted his brain ... "she would have had a nervous breakdown"

Akash ignored his brain .. "It’s OK honey .. its only half an hour . no problem"

She smiled once again .. held his hand and asked "Hope you remember what occasion is today"

"OMG!!!", thought Akash .....

"Brain ... search database for reminders, anniversaries, silly anniversaries, birthdays and birthdays of people I dont care about"

Brain got into action ... he started delegating work to different parts ..

parallel processing .. multiple search .......... complete memory scan.

Sheetal stared at Akash .... "Hello!! u have been staring at me for 2 minutes now ... u OK?"

"Huh!!!", he said, "Oh ... nothing's wrong .. was lost in thought"

"No records found", said the brain ...

"Da**mn!!", thought Akash

"So what say ... how do we celebrate this day?", she asked.

Akash is all confused ... "Ask her ...dumbo?".. said the brain

"OK OK ...stop pushing me"

"Honey .. U know my lousy memory.. I guess I can't recall what today is"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", she shouted ... and started crying.

"How could you forget!! ..... it’s my doggy's birthday"

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

A moment of silence.

His entire brain staff was laughing at him.

Akash was dumbfounded.

"What the hell am I supposed to do know?", he asked his brain.

"Damage control sequence initialized ... don't worry our specialist will comeback with the perfect line to make everything all right"

"Better do it fast ..brainy"

The brain was working at 90% capacity .... gathering and analyzing all data on 'How to handle women?'

Finally an answer was computed and communicated to Akash.

He looked up to her, and said "Of Course I remember your doggy's bday ..

how can I forget that sweet mutt's special day"

She looked up with utter surprise ...

"HUH!!!!!!! ........ Doggy is the name of my cat you je*k"

She stood up angrily and left.

Akash and his brain were left there clueless.

What Goes Around, Comes Around, Evil For Evil, Good For Good

A woman baked chapatti (an Indian food) for members of her family and an extra one for a hungry passerby. She kept the extra chapatti on the window sill, for whosoever would take it away. Every day, a hunchback came and took away the chapatti. Instead of expressing gratitude, he muttered the following words as he went his way: “The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!” This went on, day after day. Every day, the hunchback came, picked up the chapatti and uttered the words: “The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!” The woman felt irritated. “Not a word of gratitude,” she said to herself…

“Everyday this hunchback utters this jingle! What does he mean?” One day, exasperated, she decided to do away with him. “I shall get rid of this hunchback,” she said. And what did she do? She added poison to the chapatti she prepared for him! As she was about to keep it on the window sill, her hands trembled. “What is this I am doing?” she said. Immediately, she threw the chapatti into the fire, prepared another one and kept it on the window sill. As usual, the hunchback came, picked up the chapatti and muttered the words: “The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!” The hunchback proceeded on his way, blissfully unaware of the war raging in the mind of the woman.

Every day, as the woman placed the chapatti on the window sill, she offered a prayer for her son who had gone to a distant place to seek his fortune. For many months, she had no news of him.. She prayed for his safe return. That evening, there was a knock on the door. As she opened it, she was surprised to find her son standing in the doorway. He had grown thin and lean. His garments were tattered and torn. He was hungry, starved and weak. As he saw his mother, he said, “Mom, it’s a miracle I’m here. While I was but a mile away, I was so famished that I collapsed. I would have died, but just then an old hunchback passed by. I begged of him for a morsel of food, and he was kind enough to give me a whole chapatti. As he gave it to me, he said, “This is what I eat everyday: today, I shall give it to you, for your need is greater than mine!” ” As the mother heard those words, her face turned pale.

She leaned against the door for support. She remembered the poisoned chapatti that she had made that morning. Had she not burnt it in the fire, it would have been eaten by her own son, and he would have lost his life! It was then that she realized the significance of the words: “The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!” Do good and Don’t ever stop doing good, even if it’s not appreciated at that time.

Three wishes of a Woman

Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

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The man had a heart attack ten times milderthan his wife ..

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.

The Cut Off - by Chetan Bhagat

Everyone will give you an opinion on how to live your life. No one, no one will give you good advice on how to end it. Worse, they will tell you to continue living, without any respect for individual choice. Yes, hi, I’m Gautam Arora, and after eighteen wonderful years in Delhi, I’ve decided to end my life.

I sat with my best friend Neeraj and his girlfriend Anjali at Costa Coffee, DLF Metropolitan Mall in Saket. The coffee is way overpriced, but considering I had a day to live, I didn’t mind getting ripped off.

“The joke isn’t that funny,” Neeraj said, tearing open the second sachet of brown sugar and mixing it for his girlfriend. If this girl can’t mix sugar in her coffee, I wonder what she will be like after marriage.

“Do I look like I am joking? You are in medical college, and as a friend and someone two years elder to me, I am asking your advice on what is the most painless, graceful way to go. And ideally, it should be available at the friendly neighbourhood chemist,” I said. I ordered a chocolate fudge cake. What are a few extra calories on your last day?

Anjali kept quiet, her iPod plugged in her ears. She had come to the mall to shop with her boyfriend rather than meet me. Neeraj said he only dated Anjali as her father had given her a car and driver, which made it easy to go around. Besides, she looked ok. She was pretty enough to invite a second stare from men, though that’s hardly an achievement in Delhi where men’s standards can be quite modest.

“Dude, you topped your school. How much did you score in your class XII boards again?” Neeraj said.
“Ninety two per cent,” I said.
“Ninety what?” Neeraj said as he ripped out Anjali’s earphones, “Anjali, the dude scored ninety two per cent in commerce! Do you know of anyone who has scored that much?”
Anjali shook her head.
“Wow, you must have studied a lot,” she said.
I nodded. I had done nothing but study in the last two years.
“No time for hobbies?” she said.
I shook my head. My only hobbies were eating three meals and sleeping five hours a day. The rest of the time was with my books.
“With ninety two, you should be fine,” Neeraj said.
“Not according to SRCC, not according to Stephen’s and not according to Hindu, oh what the heck,” I said as I opened my rucksack.
I gave him the special admissions supplement from the newspaper. I had snucked it out early morning so mom and dad wouldn’t see it.
“Wow, check out Lady Sri Ram. B.Com Honours is at 95.5 per cent!” Neeraj said.
“That’s a girl’s college,” Anjali said.
“I know,” I said.
“Don’t worry, he wouldn’t have made it anyway. Anjali, why don’t you go spend some of your father’s money,” Neeraj said and winked at me.
Anjali and I both gave Neeraj a dirty look. Neeraj air-kissed Anjali and gestured to her to leave.

Seriously, don’t kill yourself. To us, you are still the school topper,” Neeraj said after Anjali left.
“So what do I do?” I said, my voice loud, “stay back in school? This topper tag makes things worse. My parents already threw a party for our friends and relatives like I have made it big time in life. I cut a cake with the icing ‘family superstar’.”
“Nice,” Neeraj said.
“Not nice at all. All relatives congratulated my mother. They see me as the next hotshot investment banker on Wall Street. The least they expect me to do is get into a good college in DU.”
“There are still some colleges that you will get,” Neeraj said as I cut him off.
“But none with the same brand value. Thus, you can’t get a decent job after them. You can’t get into the top MBA school.”
Neeraj pushed my coffee cup towards me. I hadn’t touched it. I picked it up and brought it close to my mouth but couldn’t drink it.
“I made one tiny calculation error in my math paper,” I said, “read one stupid unit conversion wrong. That’s it. If only...”
“If only you could chill out. You are going to college, dude! Branded or not, it is always fun.”
“Screw fun,” I said. “What kind of kids are they taking in anyway?” Neeraj said, “you have to be a bean-counter stickler to get ninety seven per cent. Like someone who never takes chances and revises the paper twenty times.”
“I don’t know, I revised it five times. That stupid calculation...”
“Gautam, relax. That paper is done. And sticklers don’t do well in life. Innovative and imaginative people do.”
“That’s not what DU thinks. You don’t understand, my father has proclaimed in his office I will join SRCC. I can’t go to him with a second rung college admission. It’s like his whole life image will alter. Hell, I won’t be able to deal with it myself.”



An SMS from Anjali on Neeraj’s phone interrupted our conversation. At Kimaya, tried fab dress. Come urgently, want your opinion. Neeraj typed the reply back. Honey, it looks great. Buy it.

Neeraj grinned as he showed me his response. “I think you should go,” I said. Rich dads’ daughters can throw pretty nasty tantrums. Neeraj took out the money for coffee. I stopped him. “My treat,” I said. Leave people happy on your last day, I thought. “Of course, I take this as your treat for cracking your boards,” Neeraj said and smiled. He ruffled my hair and left. I came out of the mall and took an auto home.

I met my parents at the dinner table. “So when will the university announce the cut-offs?” my father said.
“In a few days,” I said. I looked up at the dining table fan. No, I couldn’t hang myself. I can’t bear suffocation.
My mother cut mangoes after dinner. The knife made me think of slitting my wrists. Too painful, I thought and dropped the idea.

“So now, my office people are asking me, ‘when is our party?’,” my father said as he took a slice.
“I told you to call them to the party we did for neighbours and relatives,” my mother said.

“How will they fit with your brothers and sisters? My office people are very sophisticated,” my father said.
“My brothers are no less sophisticated. They went to Singapore last year on vacation. At least they are better than your family,” she said.
My father laughed at my mother’s sullen expression. His happiness levels had not receded since the day I received my result.

“My office people want drinks, not food. Don’t worry, I’ll do another one for them when he gets into SRCC or Stephen’s.”
My father worked in the sales division of Tata Tea. We had supplied our entire set of neighbours with free tea for the last five years. As a result, we had more well-wishers than I’d have liked.
“Even my country head called to congratulate me for Gautam. He said – nothing like Stephen’s for your brilliant son,” my father said.
“Gupta aunty came from next door. She wanted to see if you can help her daughter who is in class XI,” my mother said.
Is she pretty, I wanted to ask, but didn’t. It didn’t matter. I came to my room post dinner. I hadn’t quite zeroed down on the exact method, but thought I should start working on the suicide letter anyway. I didn’t want it to be one of the clichéd ones – I love you all and it is no one’s fault, and I’m sorry mom and dad. Yuck, just like first impressions, last impressions are important too. In fact, I didn’t want to do any silly suicide letter. When it is your last, you’d better make it important. I decided to write it to the education minister. I switched on my computer and went to the Education Department website. Half the site links were broken. There was a link called “What after class XII?” I clicked on it, it took me to a blank page with an under construction sign. I sighed as I closed the site. I opened Microsoft Word to type.



Dear Education Minister,
I hope you are doing fine and the large staff of your massive bungalow is treating you well. I won’t take much of your time.
I’ve passed out of class XII and I’ve decided to end my life. I scored ninety-two per cent in my boards, and I have a one foot high trophy from my school for scoring the highest. However, there are so many trophy holding students in this country and so few college seats, that I didn’t get into a college that will train me to the next level or open up good opportunities.

I know I have screwed up. I should have worked harder to get another three per cent. However, I do want to point out a few things to you. When my parents were young, certain colleges were considered prestigious. Now, forty years later, the same colleges are considered prestigious. What’s interesting is that no new colleges have come up with the same brand or reputation level. Neither have the seats expanded in existing colleges fast enough to accommodate the rising number of students.



I’ll give you an example. Just doing some meaningless surfing, I saw that 3.8 lakh candidates took the CBSE class XII exam in 1999, a number that has grown to 8.9 lakh in 2009. This is just one board, and if you take ICSE and all other state boards, the all India total number is over ten times that of CBSE. We probably had one crore students taking the class XII exam this year.

While not everyone can get a good college seat, I just want to talk about the so-called good students. The top 10 per cent alone of these one crore students is ten lakh children. Yes, these ten lakh students are their class toppers. In a class of fifty, they will have the top-5 ranks.

One could argue that these bright kids deserve a good college to realise their full potential. Come to think of it, it would be good for our country too if we train our bright children well to be part of the new, shining, gleaming, glistening or whatever you like to call the globalised India.

But then, it looks like you have stopped making universities. Are there ten lakh top college seats in the country? Are there even one lakh? Ever wondered what happens to the rest of us, year after year? Do we join a second rung college? A deemed university? A distance learning programme? A degree in an expensive, racist country?

Your government runs a lot of things. You run an airline that never makes money. You run hotels. You want to be involved in making basic stuff like steel and aluminum, which can easily be made by more efficient players. However, in something as important as
shaping the young generation, you have stepped back. You have stopped making new universities. Why?

You have all the land you want, teachers love to get a government job, education funds are never questioned. Still, why? Why don’t we have new, A-grade universities in every state capital for instance?
Oh well, sorry. I am over reacting. If only I had not done that calculation error in my math paper, I’d be fine. In fact, I am one of the lucky ones. In four years, the number of candidates will double. So then we will have a college that only has 99 per cent scorers.

My parents were a bit deluded about my abilities, and I do feel bad for them. I didn’t have a girlfriend or too many friends, as people who want to get into a good college are not supposed to have a life. If only I knew that slogging for twelve years would not amount to much, I’d have had more fun.
Apart from that, do well, and say hello to the PM, who as I understand, used to teach in college.
Yours truly,
Gautam
(Poor student)



I took a printout of the letter and kept it in my pocket. I decided to do the act the next morning. I woke up as the maid switched off the fan to sweep the room. She came inside and brought a box of sweets. A fifty-year-old woman, she had served us for over ten years. “What?” I said as she gave me the box. It had kaju-barfi, from one of the more expensive shops in the city. The maid had spent a week’s salary distributing sweets to anyone known to her. “My son passed class XII,” she said as she started her work. “How much did he score?” I said, still rubbing my eyes. “Forty two per cent. He passed English too,” she said as her face beamed with pride. “What will he do now?” I said. “I don’t know. Maybe his own business, he can repair mobile phones,” she said. I went to the bathroom for a shower. I realised the newspaper would have come outside. I ran out of the bathroom. I picked up the newspaper from the entrance floor. I took out the admissions supplement, crumpled it and threw it in the dustbin kept outside the house. I came back inside the house and went back into the shower.

I left the house mid-day. I took the metro to Chandni Chowk and asked my way to the industrial chemicals market. Even though I had left science after class X, I knew that certain chemicals like Copper Sulphate or Ammonium Nitrate could kill you. I bought a pack of both compounds. As I passed through the lanes of Chandni Chowk, I passed a tiny hundred square feet jalebi shop. It did brisk business. I thought my last meal had to be delicious. I went to the counter and took a quarter kilo of jalebis.

I took my plate and sat on one of the two rickety benches placed outside the shop.

A Muslim couple with a four-year-old boy came and sat on the next bench. The mother fed the boy jalebi and kissed him after each bite. It reminded me of my childhood and my parents, when they used to love me unconditionally and marks didn’t exist. I saw the box of Ammonium Nitrate and tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn’t eat the jalebis. I came back home. I wondered if I should use my chemicals before or after dinner. Maybe it is better after everyone has slept, I thought.

We sat at the dinner table. Dad had told mom not to cook as he’d brought Chinese takeaway for us. Mom brought the soya sauce, chilli oil and the vinegar with cut green chillies in little katoris. We ate American chopsuey on stainless steel plates. I looked at my watch, it was 8 pm. Three more hours, I thought as I let out a sigh.

“One thing Kalpana,” my father said to my mother, “job candidates aren’t what they used to be these days. I interviewed for new trainees today, disappointing.”
“Why, what happened?” my mother said.
“Like this boy from Stephen’s, very bright kid. But only when it came to his subjects.”
“Really?” my mother said.
“Yeah, but I asked him a different question. I said how would you go about having a tea-shop chain like the coffee shop chains, and he went blank,” my father said, an inch of noodle hanging outside his mouth. My mother removed it from his face.
“And then some kid from SRCC. He topped his college. But you should have seen his arrogance. Even before the interview starts, he says ‘I hope at the end of our meeting, you will be able to tell me why I should join Tata Tea and not another company’. Can you imagine? I am twice his age.”

I could tell my father was upset from his serious tone.
“If you ask me,” my father continued, “the best candidate was a boy from Bhopal. Sure, he didn’t get into a top college. But he was an eighty per cent student. And he said ‘I want to learn. And I want to show that you don’t need a branded college to do well in life. Good people do well anywhere.’ What a kid. Thank God we shortlisted him in the first place.”
“Did he get the job?” I said.

“Yes, companies need good workers, not posh certificates. And we are having a meeting to discuss our short listing criteria again. The top colleges are so hard to get in, only tunnel vision people are being selected.” “Then why are you asking him to join Stephen’s or SRCC?” my mother said.

My father kept quiet. He spoke after a pause. “Actually, after today, I’d say don’t just go by the name. Study the college, figure out their dedication, and make sure they don’t create arrogant nerds. Then whatever the brand, you will be fine. The world needs good people.”

I looked at my parents as they continued to talk. Excuse me, but I have a plan to execute here. And now you are confusing me, I thought. “So should I study some more colleges and make a decision after that?” I said. “Yes, of course. No need for herd-mentality. Kalpana you should have seen this boy from Bhopal.”

Post-dinner, my parents watched TV in the living room while eating fruits. I retracted to my room. I sat on my desk wondering what to do next. The landline phone rang in my parent’s room. I went inside and picked it up.
“Hello Gautam?” the voice on the other side said.
It was my father’s colleague from work. “Hello, Yash uncle,” I said. “Hi,” he said, “congratulations on your boards.” “Thanks uncle,” I said, “dad is in the living room finishing dinner, should I call him?” “Dinner? Oh, don’t disturb him. Just tell him his mobile is with me. It is safe. We were on a field trip today. He left it in my car.” “Field trip? For interviews?” I said. “What interviews? No, we just went to the Chandigarh office,” he said.

I wished him good night and hung up the phone. I switched on the bedside lamp in my parents’ room. Confused, I sat down on my father’s bed, wondering what to do next. To make space, I moved his pillow. Under the pillow lay a crumpled newspaper. I picked it up. It was the same admissions supplement I had tossed in the bin this morning. My father had circled the cut-offs table.

I left the newspaper there and came to the living room. My father was arguing with my mother over the choice of channels. I looked at my father. He smiled at me and offered me watermelon. I declined.

I came back to my room. I picked up the chemical boxes and took them to the toilet. I opened both boxes and poured the contents in the toilet commode. One press, and everything, everything flushed out.

“Gautam,” my mother knocked on the door, “I forgot to tell you. Gupta aunty came again. Can you teach her daughter?”
“Maybe,” I said as I came out of the toilet, “by the way, is she pretty?”

Wait for the Brick

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and drove the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car, shouting, "What was that all about and who are you?

Just what the heck are you doing?

That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money.

Why did you do it?"

The young boy was apologetic. "Please mister ... please, I'm sorry... I didn't know what else to do," he pleaded.

"I threw the brick because no one else would stop..."

With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car.

"It's my brother," he said.

"He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out his fancy handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.

"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger.

Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the little boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!

God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us.

It's our choice: Listen to the whisper ... or wait for the brick!

React Vs. Respond

Suddenly, a cockroach flew from somewhere and sat on a lady. I wondered if this was the cockroach’s response to all the glory that was spoken about it!

She started screaming out of fear. With panic stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach. Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group got cranky to what was happening.

The lady finally managed to push the cockroach to another lady in the group. Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama.

The waiter rushed forward to their rescue.

In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter. The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt. When he was confident enough, he grabbed and threw it out with his fingers.

Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behaviour? If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed?He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos.

It is not the cockroach, but the inability of the ladies to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach that disturbed the ladies.

I realized even in my case then , it is not the shouting of my father or my boss that disturbs me, but it’s my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me. It’s not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me.

More than the problem, it’s my reaction to the problem that hurts me...

We should not react in life, we should always respond. Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always intellectual...

Gates to Heaven

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all

the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her, "Hello, How are you! We've

been waiting for you! Good to see you."

When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.

"Which word?" the woman asked.

"Love."

The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to

watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day. While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived.

"I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"

"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What

a bummer! How do I get in?"

"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.

"Which word?" her husband asked.

"Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis", she replied.

Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry . . . there will be Hell to pay!

Strength of a Man and Beauty of a Woman

Strength of a Man

The strength of a man isn't seen in the width of his shoulders.

It is seen in the width of his arms that encircle you.

The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice.

It is in the gentle words he whispers.

The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has.

It is how good a buddy he is with his kids.

The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work.

It is in how respected he is at home.

The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits..

It is in how tender he touches.

The strength of a man isn't how many women he's Loved by.

It is in can he be true to one woman.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift.

It is in the burdens he can understand and overcome.

Beauty of a Woman

The beauty of a woman

Is not in the clothes she wears,

The figure she carries,

Or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman

Must be seen from her eyes,

Because that is the doorway to her heart,

The place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman

Is not in a facial mole,

But true beauty in a woman

Is reflected in her soul.

It is the caring that she lovingly gives,

The passion that she shows,

The beauty of a woman

With passing years-only grows.

Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman,

but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man

Husband and Wife..A humorous conversation

*Wife to Husband:*

"Come Help Me in Garden.."

*Husband:*

"Wat do U think I am? A Gardener??" :O

*Wife:*

"Come Fix the Toilet Faucet..!"

*Husband:*

What do U Think I am? A Plumber??" :O

*Wife:*

"Come fix the Door Handle.."

*Husband:*

What do U Think I am? A Carpenter?? :O

[The Husband Went Out but When He came Back,

He Saw that Everything was Fixed..!

The Garden, Toilet Faucet & the Door Handle..!]

He Asked his Wife Who did It??

*The Wife Said:*

"Its the Neighbor's Pintu's Father,

But He gave Me two Options...

Either to Make Him a Burger;

Or have A Kiss With Him..!"

*Husband:*

I'm Sure, U gave Him a Burger..! :))

*Wife:*

*"What do U Think I am?*

*'Mc'Donalds' ???!!! *

Four Wives

There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.

He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.

Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.

The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.

Then a voice called out : "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !"

Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives

a. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.

b. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.

c. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

d. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.

Guess what? It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. Perhaps it's a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather than to wait until we're on our deathbed to lament

Dad vs Daughter

You have done a brilliant work Rajesh. You have been given….rrrrhhhhh……Raaaajjjeeeessshhhh………… Raaaajjjeeeessshhhh.’- what!! I woke up from a sudden jerk. ‘Raaajeeessshhh….’…I heard my wife yelling. What’s w/ her? Always yelling for something or the other. I can’t be in peace even in my dreams. Shucks!! Angrily, I kicked my blanket and got down. ‘Raaajesssh….’ ‘Coming Meera..what’s w/ you. Why are you shouting like this..’.

I hurried down the stairs. I saw Meera, my sweet(??!!) wife, sitting in the couch giving breakfast to my 7yr old daughter Achala. Both looked happy, watching TV. I got confused at the whole scenario. I came running down, expecting some kind of earthquake, but instead here everything was in place. I looked at my wife & daughter. She smiled at me back. Now, I more got confused, what’s happening here? Am I in a dream?

‘Meera…’
‘Yeah Rajesh…’
‘You called me. In fact yelled.’
‘Yes. You are right!’
‘Everything is fine here right? Why you screamed like that then…’
‘It’s ‘cos it’s going to be 8am now.’

I couldn’t understand what she was trying to say. Is she playing some kind of prank? Is this the time for all these? I have to be in office by 9am for a meeting.

‘Yes. It’s going to be 8am.Right! So…?’
‘Rajesh, don’t tell me, you forgot…today is 27th ‘
‘27th..What 27th?
‘Don’t tell me you don’t remember?’

Meera gave me an ‘I’ll kill you’ look. Is it her birthday? No it’s somewhere at the year end. Is it my daughter’s? No no , we celebrated last month only right. Got it. Should be our Anniversary.

‘Hey Meera, How will I forget our Anniversary…’
‘Whaattttttt????….Anniversaryyyyy???…..’

Got it. It’s not our anniversary. Before I get killed…What’s w/ 27th. What ?? what?? Come on Rajesh!! Think. Nothing hit my mind. I looked at my daughter for a clue. She turned her face away. What’s with all women? Why can’t they be straight forward & say things. With so much work pressure, how on earth I am supposed to remember all the dates?. If I say something, then Meera will pick up a fight, and I will miss the meeting, my whole day will be gone. I made up my mind to surrender.

‘Meera, Sorry, I don’t remember. This medicine I am taking for cough, Something happened..my memory is deteriorating ..What’s today?’ Meera doesn’t seem like buying that excuse from me.
’Meera, please tell me’ I asked in a pitiable tone..
‘Rajesh..You don’t remember at all?’ I moved my head left & right meaning NO. I kept my face like I am a patient suffering from ‘amnesia'.

'Rajesh, As part of annual day celebrations, today is 'Daddy's Day' in Acchu's school. I have been telling you for the past 3 weeks. Now don’t tell me you forgot. You already promised that you will go with her to her school'
I couldn’t believe that I accepted for something like that. 'Meeraa..did I??'
'Yes. You did'
‘at what time it starts..?'
'By 8:30am and ends at 1pm'.

Gosh!! 9am!! I have such a critical meeting. How I will attend all these.
“Meera, you could have reminded me yesterday right?’
‘Oh I didn’t remind you? Great. I didn’t call to your office. Or remind you in the evening and before going to bed’

Might be I wouldn’t have heard it. Or slipped out of my memory. Whatever!!

'Meera! Can’t you attend all these. Why should I??'
"Rajesh. It’s Daddy's Day!...DADDY'ss!!!!!'
'Oh yeah....but...'
'But what????...'
'errrh....might be some other day...'
'What? You want the school to postpone the function?'
'No..No…actually..what..I am saying is..'
'What Rajesh??? What?? Tell me. You promised Acchu and are you going to disappoint her? '

I stood there totally helpless. I looked at my daughter. She was all dressed up and ready to go. She looked like, she will cry any time. I saw Meera. She gave me a murderous look. I thought for a moment and my mind raced with many calculations. Important meeting. I can’t miss for sure. Half a day is too much. So many deliverables will get affected. I can’t face Meera again if I don’t go. Might be I can postpone the meeting by an hour and for name sake visit that function and escape to office.
'Meera, I will go, but I can spend only 1 hour..'
'No...that’s not..'

Before Meera finished the sentence, Acchu rushed to me 'Thanks daddy. 1hour. Mom, 1hour is enough mom. Please don’t fight mom. Daddy, get ready soon..' she nudged me.
‘Do you know her school name and the route for the school or you want me to tell???’ Asking that Meera threw me an angry look and left the living room. I rushed up, got ready. Called my manager & told that I got stuck in traffic jam and postponed the meeting to 10am.

I took Achala to her school. I felt somehow entering the school, ‘cos it’s the 2nd time, I am entering her school. In fact 1st time. I once dropped her outside her school gate. The school had a big playground, Small Park with all kids playing equipment's. Some stalls were put up. So many kids with their fathers moved around here & there. Suddenly I felt some one touching my hand

‘Are you achala’s daddy?’ – A small kid asked. She had curly hair and bubbly smile.

‘Yes,,,My Daddy..…’ – Achala responded in an excited tone. And some kids ran towards me and Achala started introducing everyone.

‘Daddy! this is Rohit, this is zakir, Anis, Sylvia, Divya..’ – I told hello to everyone.

‘Daddy, Daddy, Zakir is my best friend.’ – I smiled at that cute blue eyed boy.

‘Uncle, Acchu told that you have so much work and you won’t be able to come. She told she won’t come in today. You don’t have work Uncle?’ – Zakir asked me.

I suddenly felt very bad on how my daughter has understood me. ‘No Zakir, I don’t have work’

‘Daddy, they are calling for the games. ‘ . Zakir ran to his father and waved his hands at me & achala. I took achala by hand and walked towards the stage. They were announcing the 1st game. Fathers will be given a sheet containing questions about their kids. Fathers have to fill about their kids which will be verified with the kids response.

Achala was all excited about the game and she was all set to go. But I felt shivers. I looked at my daughter. Suddenly, I felt very far from her, and the reality hit me, that I don’t know anything about my very own daughter. I blurted out ‘Acchu..we will attend the next game..This one ..’ She gave me a deep stare. I thought she is going to cry or shout or do something. But instead she pulled out a small paper from her jeans pocket and gave it to me. Completely baffled, I opened the sheet.

”My name is Achala. My birthday March 21st. I am 7yrs old. I like butterfly. Superman. Dairy milk. painting. dancing. I am in 1st standard A section. I like Dora. Mango. Apple. Fried rice. Jelly. I don’t like banana. I drink boost.. I like yellow color. My nick name is ‘Honey dew’”

And the list went on with small, small spelling mistakes. I looked at Acchu. ‘Daddy, read it, I know they will keep this game. So I wrote it 2 days back itself, to give you if you come. If they ask anything about me, write there. Ok Now go & attend the game’. Most of the things, my daughter has written & gave me, I never knew anything about it. I suddenly felt a lump in my throat. I went to the stage waved my hand to Acchu and got the question sheet. Since Acchu gave the sheet, I came to know about her & I answered almost all the questions. Then they asked Acchu on stage and asked the questions to her. We got the 2nd highest mark in that game. Acchu came running towards me and hugged me. They gave a ‘toy guitar’. Everyone congratulated us. Thou’ I won that game, I felt like a loser. I know, I don’t deserve this. I don’t know anything about my daughter.

She looked very happy showing that guitar to her best friend, zakir . What a kid she is. Understanding that her dad is totally hopeless and don’t want to let her dad down, before others she prepared that sheet and gave to me. The lump in my throat started getting bigger and my heart became heavy. I caressed her hair. What a beautiful smile she has and such big eyes. Does she miss a wing to get qualified as an angel? I have never admired my daughter or even watched her in all these years. She has that cute dimple of Meera’s as well as her eyes. Does that curling lip edges when she smiles, is mine? How I missed all this in my life.

Achala pulled me to the stalls there and I got some eatables and balloons for her and zakir.. She kept talking about the next game and suddenly my mobile rang. Oops!! Is it already 10am. I looked at Acchu . Suddenly her face became dark. She looked totally upset and asked in an low voice ‘Daddy! You have to leave now?’

I looked at my mobile. My manager was calling. It’s already 10am. I looked at Acchu. I looked around. All those happy kids with their fathers. I thought about my school days, where my dad used to come for all sports day, annual day, sit with me, cheer me up. Every day morning, while dropping me to school, he will wait near the gate until my head disappear. Evening, he will come & pick me up in his cycle, and I will be telling him all the stories that happened that day in school.

I saw Acchu. How many untold stories my daughter has kept in her heart to say me? I thought about all those days, where I yearned for a girl child and I wonder, how much of my time I gave her.

I pulled her closer, gave a kiss on her fore head ‘No Honey! I am not going. I will be here only…we will attend all games and roam around whole day.ok?’

‘Really?’ – She asked in an unbelievable tone.

‘Yes sweetz’

‘Thank you Daddy!’ – Achala kissed my cheeks and ran to her friends. School teaches you something or the other always. This time, ‘back to school’ has taught me a wonderful life’s lesson. I called my manager & told that am running high fever and can’t come in today. I know, I can handle things tomorrow. Today my daughter needs me more than anyone can need me in this world. With a lighter heart, I got up; ran towards Acchu, lifted her and gave her a big swing. She erupted into an uncontrollable laughter. The lump in my throat started melting away

Passbook

Priya married Hitesh this day. At the end of the wedding party, Priya's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook. With Rs.1000 deposit amount.
Mother: 'Priya, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh.When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'
Priya shared this with Hitesh when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made.

This was what they did after certain time: -
7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage -
1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Priya -
20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali -
15 Apr: Rs.2000, Priya got pregnant -
1 Jun: Rs.1000, Hitesh got promoted ...... and so on...

However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things. They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the most nasty people in the world.... no more love....Kind of typical nowadays, huh?

One day Priya talked to her Mother: 'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!'

Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.' Priya thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account.
While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked, and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears.. She left and went home. When she was home, she handed the passbook to Hitesh, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.
The next day, Hitesh gave the passbook back to Priya. She found a new
deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record: 'This is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How much happiness you've brought me.' They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe. Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired? I did not ask. I believe the money did not matter anymore after they had gone thru all the good years in their life.

"When you fall, in any way, Don't see the place where you fell, Instead see the place from where you slipped. Life is about correcting mistakes."

Two Choices

What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fund-raising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again..

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the

plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!

Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.

He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

B y the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!

Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!